Teens don’t want your advice. Do you know why?
The fact is you don’t know until you know..
Are you thinking what’s wrong with your kids?
Does your kid come home late often? Wondering what they do out so late…
Did you hear news about Teens getting arrested for an armed robbery or some other crazy thing?
It is easy to manage kids aged below 6 to 7 but when it comes to pre-teens and teens you might feel it’s difficult to understand their behaviors and changes. You might also feel like shouting to the core and say you have no idea.
Think of the days where you were parenting a toddler and were very happy bearing the brunt of tantrums and kids refusing the food, still you had bit of control over them. Whereas with pre-teens and teens you might think that you lost control over them and still what want to have bit of control and supervise what they do and who they are with.
Teens make stupid decisions from the beginning of time, and might continue until the end of time.
Did you know that the human brain is not fully developed until 25 and this can cause teens to sometimes have silly views?
Well, this is a disaster recipe.
If your kids are younger, then your kids depend heavily on physical touch and helping them like carrying your newborn, sleeping with them closely, being with them when they go to restroom, dressing and feeding them, holding them, hugging them and so on. You are in control over their every aspect of life from what they eat, when they sleep, and who they play and enjoy with.
If you are the parent of teens, this is not always the case. With your teen, it all turns as
Is he safe? Will his friends drive carefully?
Why is he so late to home? What is he doing? Is he hurt?
Is he under peer pressure to drink?
You will now watch their affection and love turn into broken heart and it hurts you so much which you can’t even imagine. Teens get stressed during pre-exams, their life decisions. You wanted to help them but you will not know how to help and make them understand. Or at least they believe that you will not understand them.
You will not have any idea on how to help and build their trust when they have this physical and emotional changes. This is heavier than you could even imagined.
The fact is you don’t know until you try to know.
When you want to offer up an opinion on parenting the teens with no direct experience, ask yourself a question “Can I help or offer something that is meaningful?” if you know that the answer is NO, then consider stepping back and keeping it to yourself.
In this world, parents of teens have many scenarios thrown at them that are not covered in any parenting books. Of course, there are no scripts for conversing to your teens about the risks of interchanging nude photos because they could be charged with having children pornography. And that’s just one of the many crazy examples of problems teens can face that you may hove no idea how to deal with.
Instead of fighting with them and telling them what that cannot do, try your best to listen to them. Be supportive in their decisions and encourage them while you give “suggestions” on how to deal with their problems. With the right guidance, over time they will develop into responsible adults that love and respect you. Consider reading this book to help you communicate with your teen on their level.