Expert Advice for the parents of LGBTQ teens

The National “Coming Out” Day



What’s your terrifying moment as a parent of Teens?

When your teen says “Mom, Dad…I am a gay” …What would be your reaction?

Yes, we must face it. The teens “coming out” and share with their parents can be a terrifying and shocking moment.

“Coming out” is a topic that many LGBTQ teens fear raising with their parents and It’s a conversation which happens every day, all over the world.

You will get a sense of relief when you share the secret that you have been hiding for months or even years. A teen who decides to come out to their parents still gets fear of being rejected by the loved ones and by their family.


National Coming Out Day is for those people who have come out as gay, transgender, lesbian, and queer people – and to support the people who may still struggle to share their sexual orientation with others.


When you ask any gay…they’ll share that “when they first open with their parents about his sexual orientation, their first and foremost concern was how will their parents take this up and how will they react”.

Coming out is still a huge deal, no matter what’s your age, or how close you are with the person with whom you share.


Here is some advice for the parents of LGBTQ Teens and how can they best show their support for their decision to come out, by Jane Evans, a Parenting Expert.

  1. Don’t React – Slow down

When your teens share their feelings to you, don’t react, instead take deep slow breathe, calm down and smile. These are the way of making yourself calm, relaxed which helps your body and brain so that you can focus and be more fully present for your child.

2. Ask Simple Questions


When your child finally sat down to deliver the secrets, it’s likely taken a great deal of Agonizing for your child to get to the stage. Even if you are very close to your child, your child coming out of their sexual orientation will still be scary task. So, the best thing as a parent is to start by asking simple questions, like” How are you”. Your child will appreciate your support and care.


3. Make your child feel Accepted


We often jump into a mode of what can you do? to keep your child physically and emotionally safe. As of now, please focus on making your child feel accepted by being very patient and listen them carefully and provide them the support needed.


4. Don’t be pressurized instead focus on their feelings


“Coming out” for a child may be their biggest challenge, or their greatest relief. As a parent, when you hear their secrets and feelings, go slow and ask questions in a gentle way and non-judgmental manner, like “what’s your feeling since you started to become aware?”. Also, don’t expect them to have all of the answers on the same day of their coming out, as it will take multiple time for them to share their experience and its multi-layered.


5. Introduce lightness and help them relax


As Parents, take your cues from your child and build trust with them.  Be normal when you speak to your child with smile and openness. This may help them to relax and normalize the conversation.

6. Empathize and Show trust


As Parents, you know your child very well and first trust yourself, even if you feel like a complete shock. You know your child so well, even if this feels like a complete shock.  Emphasize the situation and try to put yourself in their shoes, as this will help both you and your child.

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